Recently there have been stricter rules and consequences for drinking on or around campus. Especially after an LSU student and an MIT student died from alcohol poisoning not to long ago.
Three students from the Alpha Beta Zeta fraternity: Press Martin, Al Amalek and Rob Smith were admitted to a hospital and diagnosed with alcohol poisoning. Some say the fraternity as a whole should be punished others say the fraternity should not be punished due to the mistakes of three individuals. None-the-less the fraternity is being suspended,for how long has not been states. But one thing is for sure, the lookout for similar incidents in school related fraternities are on the rise and the punishments that follow are damaging.
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1. That’s a pretty vague lead. The most important news here is the local hospitalization that recently occurred.
2. This story is way too short and includes no attribution or quotes.
3. It’s very sloppy. Please look carefully at your use of commas. Many of your sentences are run-on or nonsensical.
I agree the story is very short and the lead is vague. I am not sure that you really thought about the who what when etc. And some of the sentences are run on.